Saturday, May 29, 2010


That’s a stack of journals. My journals. My well-loved and completely full (except one- the one under my little bible on top) journals.

And most of the following is straight out of one of those pages...

I don’t want [my blog] to replace the journaled prayers where I connect and process this journey that I’m on with God. I still firmly believe that there is something so artistic, so beautiful when you put a pen on a piece of paper and let your heart flow. The stack of journals that sits on my bookshelf is sort of mysterious- no one knows what is written on those pages except for me. The pages hold so many prayers, letters that I never wanted the recipient to read, old sermon notes, lists of bills I need to pay, things I want to accomplish.

I sometimes wonder if anyone is tempted to pick one up and read it? What would they find? The pages in my journals are probably the most accurate portrayal of my heart. I’m usually an open book and most of the people around me know my heart...but there are still secrets that only the pen and the page know.

A blog is a really cool thing- I get to share my heart with whomever wants to read it, but it’ll never replace my journal. Technology is so distant and clean and cold and far away. Journals are tangible and messy and intimate. My journals will yellow and maybe get lost, but someday, someone will find them. Long after I’m gone, my heart will still be here in those pages....and I hope someone is tempted to read them.

1 comment:

  1. A clean hear to have the openness for someone to read your journals. I have kept journals for years, and have often thought I need to burn them before I die. In being honest with God, the ugliness of my heart often in revealed. I love the openness and tenderness of your walk with God, that you could be an "open book" for people to read. A young woman with such a heart - what an example to women of your generation.