To the man who hit my car today:

Hello, sir.  I know that I’ve never met you in person before, but I thought that it would be good to write you a little letter.  You see, I own the Chevy Malibu that was sitting on Marsh Rd. today that you hit with your little red paint truck.  I’m still not sure how you managed to hit my car and do so much damage coming around that corner, but you probably don’t even know yet that I can’t open my door and that I am unable to drive my car anymore because YOU DIDN’T EVEN STOP. Thankfully for me, some nice man who works at AT&T saw your ass drive away and left a note on my car for me to call him.  He described your little red truck in much detail and I immediately recognized the description because of your prime parking location directly across the street from my place of employment.  I kept a good eye out for your truck all day, but I was none too surprised to find your little red truck parked a block away.  Side note: if you want to do a hit and run, you shouldn't leave the evidence of  your broken tail lights under my car next time.  I also wasn’t surprised to find that you weren’t home when Officer Gary and I rang your doorbell this evening.  

You know I work in a drug and alcohol treatment facility, right?  That’s right, 16 women who love me dearly live across the street from you.  You should probably start parking your car more than one block away. 

I should let you know some details about my life.  At least about my life pertaining to my car.  First- Two weeks ago, I paid $1100 to fix my engine- an investment that I thought would last me a few more years.  Also, there’s a red 2011 sticker sitting my dresser that I just paid $94 so I could put it on my license plate and allow my car to be a happy resident of California for another year.  Also, I live in San Jose, about  45 minutes away from where my undrivable car is currently sitting.  If you didn’t know this already- there’s no public transportation options to get me to work at 7am tomorrow morning.  Oh yeah, Mom and Dad live 3,000 miles away.  That’s going to be a long drive to take me to work every day.

Could you spare some of that blue painter’s tape that you fixed up your headlight with today? I was hoping it would fix my alignment and maybe cover up the large dent in the side of my car, but since it probably won’t do all of those things, it might make a nice decal for my immovable statue of a car.